I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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