can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
