Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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