He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
