wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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