:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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