I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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