i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
