garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
