im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize