Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
