Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
