I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I want a musical about memes.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
