I've blown a few things in my day
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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