is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
