redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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