Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
