she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
