I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
