After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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