Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
