Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
