sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
