My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
