Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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