I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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