i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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