Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
