trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
