my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
