No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
