Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
