summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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