I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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