Sry I called you an 8
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're too hungover to prance.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
