shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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