OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
