dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
