Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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