Barsexuality is the new black.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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