You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
