and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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