I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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