i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
