Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't like sucking hair
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
