So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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