i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
