New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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