So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
