i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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