hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
