somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
