Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
