Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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