dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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