I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
